Protecting My Sanity as a Food Allergy Blogger

2021 was the first January of my time on social media that I did not see a flurry of “new year new me” “lose the holiday weight” “self improvement” posts and it was a giant gasp of fresh air. But it wasn’t by accident’ it was calculated. As a person who spends so much of their time on the internet, certain safeguards are necessary to keep me from getting into the weeds of negative comments and self criticism. As a blogger who writes and shares about her experience living with a disease, I need further safeguards to keep myself sane. Here’s what I mean…

My blog reads like a diary. I started writing more formally in 2015, when I was in a complicated season of life, dealing with a lot of anxiety from a recent severe allergic reaction while also trying to figure out my path. I started to connect with other adults living with food allergy, and made some very close friendships. The world of food allergy on social media was still relatively new, and small. We were all just figuring it out. Excited at the prospect of connecting with so many others in the community, I joined every Facebook food allergy forum I could find, followed every food allergy account on Instagram, and signed up for all the newsletters. I felt informed. I felt connected. I had immersed myself in the community fully and was being an active participant.

And although it felt good to be forming these connections, I never stopped to consider whether one can ever be too connected, or absorbing too much information without some kind of filter. Everyone has a different idea of what type of content is valuable and useful. Forums, despite good intentions, are often places people flock to when they are in a panic, had a bad experience, or need to vent. There are lots of people out there posting allergy click-bait, or judging others who do not “do allergy life” the way they do.

Whether you have one follower or 5 million followers, being surrounded with this messaging constantly is exhausting. In real life, we get breaks from thinking about our disease. It is just one part of what makes us unique, and although it is a constant presence in our life, we do have moments away from it. It’s easy to stumble into an online environment where you never have moments away from it.

I found myself absorbing other people’s horror stories as my own and allowing them to influence my level of anxiety. Someone on Facebook is asking whether orange juice can have cross-contact with an allergen, and although I’ve drank orange juice for 30 years I am now fixated on the same thing. Someone’s child had a reaction and I just read it described in great detail and can’t shake it. Someone’s family is bullying them about their kid’s allergies being “fake” and now I feel defensive. Someone shared the “angel list” and now I just feel really terrible inside.

This is an environment that has to be carefully navigated because it can have an impact on your mental health. Not every trigger is blatantly triggering; some sit deep in the back of our minds for a while before they make their grand arrival.

Remember that you are in control, to some extent, of the type of content you consume and how much of it. Give yourself safeguards.

• If a forum/group/page is causing you stress, leave it

• If a forum/group/page is mostly filled with negativity, mute or leave it

• If an IG account is triggering you, either unfollow or mute. Mute is a great tool.

• If IG is showing you triggering or upsetting content on your feed, click “not interested” and the algorithm will learn not to show you that in future

• Unsubscribe to newsletters that send click-bait

• Follow accounts outside of the allergy world too, so that your feed is more diverse and varied

• Limit your time spent on social media, or limit it only on days when you feel it is not serving you

• Take breaks from social media altogether

Overall - determine if the outlets you are engaged in are serving you. If they are not, trim them down.

Why does this rather obvious topic deserve a whole blog post?

Because as a blogger we feel the need to be connected and fully immersed in every corner of the community and these decisions can be difficult. Everyone shares content with the best intentions. No one posts a panic post with the intention of giving someone else an anxiety attack; they post because they themselves are probably having an anxiety attack. It is up to us on the other side of the screen to determine how it affects us individually. For years I consumed a lot of content that was not healthy for me because I was active in those groups myself. Leaving them would result in a serious decline in web traffic, which might sound shallow, but when you earn an income from your blog it can be a huge obstacle.

A while ago I decided to leave 14 different Facebook forums in one day, only staying in ones that were filled with enjoyable and informative conversation. My traffic took a huge blow, as expected. But it wasn’t the end of the world. It just forced me to direct my attention elsewhere, and I became much more engaged on Instagram which has been so fruitful.

Taking a week off Instagram can feel risky because you might wonder if your followers will still be there when you get back. Although IG may delete your swipe up feature if you are inactive for too long (lol jk they did that to me but eventually brought it back) your followers will still be there. If you need a break people will respect that. I prefer to tell people that I am taking a break rather than just disappearing for a week.

Accountability

• Be critical of your own content and have an open mind

• if in hindsight, you decide that you’ve changed your mind on something, or that something you said previously was harmful, either call yourself out or adjust your behavior

• Be accountable to yourself and acknowledge when something is not serving you and needs to be cut off, for example, if something is harming your mental health or making you feel bad about yourself

• Always be honest when sharing your opinions even when it is difficult, but try to do so without judgement

• Rely on facts and known truths

People in this community face a lot of judgement on a daily basis from the outside world. Let’s not contribute more from the inside.

Each of our individual food allergy, eczema, and asthma situations are completely unique. Some people (like myself) use steroid creams and that’s all that works for us, while others have had horrendous experiences with steroid creams and withdrawals. Some people participate in clinical trials for food allergy research while others can barely afford an Epi Pen. Some families buy things that may contain nuts because that is what’s available in the one grocery store in their neighborhood and that is what they can afford. Some people’s immune systems are intolerant of gluten or dairy, while other people (like me) get GERD from eating too much rice and so wheat is a comfort food. There is no need to demonize certain ingredients., medications, etc.

There is nothing wrong with sharing your experience! All of these experiences and perspectives are valid. Just be aware of whether you are doing so with judgement. Are you sharing with the intention of opening up a meaningful conversation?

Things I changed about my own blogging style and approach to social media consumption

• Unfollowed diet culture accounts

• Stopped questioning things I know to be safe for me, and stopped sharing food products I use daily unless sponsored. I often receive DM’s from people saying that their child reacted to this and that and so I should be careful. Formerly this would have made me panic and throw out the ingredient even if I had been using it for ages. But now I can say thanks and move on. Or I just don’t share the product labels as often in order to avoid these messages in the first place.

• I only follow accounts who discuss anxiety in a way that does not trigger me, and I have changed my approach to discussing anxiety online as well.

• Cut off performative friendships with people who see me as a “cause”

• Deleted old posts that were potentially poisonous to others, even if they were popular. There is nothing to be embarrassed about if you determine that an old post is not up to date with your current feelings. Our thoughts and opinions are constantly evolving.

• Don’t feel obligated to consume content if I feel it will be triggering for me. I can still show my support for the creator by commenting with words of encouragement, but I don’t have to listen to, watch, or read something if I think it will be harmful for me personally.

There is no rule book for being a person on the internet. We are all just learning as we go. But as someone who has, in the past, allowed their mental health to suffer because she fell down an internet hole, I want to help others avoid that negative experience. Take from this post what works for you. Only you know your mental health best.

We’re all here to lift each other up. We should be proud of our accomplishments and the work we do to raise awareness about food allergy. That’s the really beautiful thing about this community.

If you liked this post about life with food allergy as an adult, check out this Youtube video about how my husband and I manage my allergies in our home: