I'm currently in the middle of an intense craving for cheese. This happens all the time. I'll go through the cupboards, sift through all the drawers, and wander around my kitchen in search of something to satisfy my craving. But there's nothing in here that'll do the trick. In a moment of complete lunacy I almost break out laughing, but that wouldn't be unusual for me anyways. I have visions of Brandon walking in on me, "Veruca darling put the wheel of cheese down," as I launch into a ballad of "I Want It Now" and end up falling down the garbage shoot.

How is it possible that I'm I craving something I've never even eaten? I want a baked brie with fruit preserves, I want Parmesan on my pasta, I want something smoked and firm with honey and pears. I can feel it melting, smell that weird kind of stank that comes from hot cheese that people seem to be surprisingly okay with.

All the people are eating cheese. I want cheese too.

-Amanda Orlando, moment of insanity, Fall 2016

But I would never go anywhere near it. In fact I go to great lengths to avoid even the most minute amounts of it. I get anxiety worrying that I may have even touched it. So my question is: why? How does my brain think it knows what cheese tastes and feels like when it's never before experienced it? And further to that, how did my mind navigate to cheese over all the foods that I regularly eat and enjoy?

Is it a case of major FOMO? Am I being brainwashed by the Food Network and Tasty videos and all the media that constantly affirms that cheese is good - eat more cheese? Or maybe I'm just tired of being allergic, totally OVER IT. This is the Bye Felicia to my allergies, my brain saying to my immune system - we're done, everything you own in a box to the left. Or maybe it's like having phantom pain in a lost limb. I was born without the cheese station in my mind and now it's sending out phantom distress signals. Signals felt by the absence of its presence.

Whatever the case may be, I settle in with my celery sticks instead. Sorry brain, cheese can't sit with us.