The Best Investments I Made Towards Having an Empowered Pregnancy and Birth Experience

Taking charge of how I wanted my pregnancy and birth experience to be!

My goal with this post is to be as transparent as possible about my pregnancy journey and the supports I had in place to make it as safe and comfortable as possible. I know that the thought of pregnancy can be scary when you have a chronic illness or anaphylactic food allergies, and I have no intention of sharing any fear-inducing information. I hope you find this post uplifting, and that it gives you some ideas about what to consider.

It should go without saying but this is not medical advice. Always consult with your doctor about how best to manage your own personal health.

Like most medical situations, patient self advocacy is critical for having a comfortable experience. Do not be afraid to ask questions, clarify things you don’t understand, request information about alternatives, and of course inquire about any food or drug allergy concerns.

Before jumping into this post, I’ll remind any new readers that I am Canadian and therefore our healthcare structure differs from what you might experience in the US or other countries. In Ontario, women can choose an OB or a Midwife which are both covered under our healthcare. Doula support is an additional service that you can layer on top of your OB or Midwife, and is paid for out of pocket. I have indicated which investments were free, which were able to provide receipts for insurance, and which were costs.

Now let’s get into the best investments I made towards having an empowered pregnancy and birth experience. And keep in mind, these are investments of both money and time. I spent a lot of time preparing for this birth and nurturing myself and my baby throughout pregnancy.

The Best Investments I Made Towards Having an Empowered Birth Experience

Prioritizing my baby’s gut microbiome
Chronic Illness and Immune System Specialist Appointment
Nutrition Consultation
An OB that I feel comfortable with
Reading the right sources
Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy
RMT Prenatal Massage
Doula Support
Hypnobirthing Classes
Hospital Prenatal Classes
Doula Prenatal Classes (all virtual)
Deflecting birth horror stories
Allergist consult call
Anaesthesiologist Consult Call

Prioritizing my baby’s gut microbiome:

(Free) My unborn child has no idea how much I talk about his developing gut microbiome. I think about it constantly. I have a very poorly developed gut microbiome and it causes a lot of issues for me. From the time I was 14 onwards, I have had to keep the candida control diet in my back pocket and use it for periods of time as needed. I added allergy-safe probiotic sources to my diet at the same time, enjoying heaping bowls of sauerkraut after school and jumping on the kombucha train in 2009. In my personal experience this has had a massive impact on my eczema flare ups. Only now is science scratching the surface of research into how important the gut microbiome is for our overall health. It was common practice in the 90s to wash all the vernix off a newborn baby, but we now know that the layer of cottage-cheese-looking gunk is important for their immune system. At my hospital it is standard practice to leave that intact for several days after birth, and for the parents to do skin to skin time with the baby immediately after delivery to ensure the transfer of beneficial bacteria. I quickly identified that these practices would be among my top priorities during the birth experience. If I were to have a c-section, I would request vaginal seeding.

Chronic Illness and Immune System Specialist Appointment:

To summarize a story told in my Pregnancy and Eczema post, my skin went crazy in the first trimester. I had eczema flare ups that could rival the flesh-terrorizing ones I had as a little kid. I knew I needed to use my back pocket strategy (candida control diet) and to book an appointment with my private doctor. In Ontario our medical care is covered, however there are additional services that you can pay for out of pocket and layer on top, if desired. For example, I could have had a referral to a dermatologist and that appointment would be covered. However I have seen a private clinic specializing in chronic illness management since 2018 and have found the service very impactful for my overall health. There is an annual fee though it is much more reasonable than one might think! I make this service a priority each year because investing in my own health and wellbeing allows me to get more enjoyment out of life. I am very fortunate to be able to enjoy this service. I was able to jump on a virtual call with my doctor and we discussed strategies to help my systems adjust more smoothly to pregnancy, a time when a woman’s immune system and hormones are experiencing massive change.

Nutrition Consultation:

One of the doctor’s recommendations was a consult with the clinic’s nutritionist, which I booked immediately. Getting adequate nutrition with my allergies is sometimes a challenge, and I could feel I was lagging behind what I needed to be getting to support my growing baby. As I mentioned in my Unexpected Sources of Allergens post, I had trouble finding an allergy safe prenatal vitamin and had to frankenstein one together with the help of the private doctor. The nutritionist was able to build a rough diet plan (I say “rough” because there were no specific daily intake requirements, calorie counting, or detailed food tracking; it was more about how to build my plate at each meal and which categories of ingredients to prioritize) on top of this, which was very close to the candida control diet but differed in certain areas to balance my growing caloric needs, safe prebiotic and probiotic sources, and other dietary requirements. Many nutritionists can provide a receipt for insurance.

An OB that I feel comfortable with:

(Free) I started seeing an OB who was new to me, and luckily she is amazing and I feel very confident in her care for myself and my baby. In the past I have seen women’s health doctors who had a more patriarchal view of female health and those experiences were very stressful. In Ontario, women can choose an OB or a Midwife. I personally feel more comfortable giving birth in a hospital setting with an OB, however this is completely up to your own personal preference. I have friends who have delivered with midwives either in birthing centers or hospitals, and also had wonderful experiences. I kept an ongoing list of notes and questions for my OB which I would address at our in-person appointments.

Reading the right sources:

(Free, except the cost of books) Beware of Dr. Google and the many unqualified people who post inaccurate, fear-mongering health information online just for clicks. This is a rule I follow for life in general but felt especially important during pregnancy. I did not join any mommy Facebook forums or apps. I muted or filtered out any social media sources that were posting bogus health information. If I needed to look up a specific question or symptom I would ask my husband to Google it and filter out the crap info before delivering a final verdict. I protected myself from internet nonsense, basically. I read three books about pregnancy; Mindful Pregnancy, What To Expect When You’re Expecting, and Expecting Better. The last two books balance each other out well as What To Expect is a more traditional take on pregnancy guidelines while Expecting Better takes a more unbiased, information and statistics based approach to analyzing best practices (and it’s a much more enjoyable read).

Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy:

Welp, I peed my pants. In the first week of my second trimester. On the way to a dinner with friends. While wearing grey leggings. The pee was visible. I cried. I felt extremely embarrassed. Prior to this horrific event taking place, I had heard about pelvic floor physio from several friends who highly recommended it. As soon as I peed myself, I booked an appointment. The clinic I found in Toronto only does pelvic floor physiotherapy, and offers a program for pregnant women to strengthen their pelvic floor and train for birth. They were able to provide a receipt for insurance coverage. I practiced the exercises at home regularly and there were no further pee incidents. The therapist was also able to show me how to use my yoga ball to relieve pain in my back, sides, legs, and tension in my body.

RMT Prenatal Massage:

MOMMY IS SORE! All over. From the first trimester onwards but especially towards the end of the second, and it got more pronounced from there. Expanding bones and joint, stretching skin, lightning crotch, A GROWING HUMAN. It’s all a lot. Quite a lot, in a short period of time. I found a fantastic family wellness clinic in Toronto called Wellbe (in Leslieville) and went for several prenatal massages there throughout the nine months. The benefits go beyond immediate relaxation; it helped me to sleep better, provoked my irritated skin to calm down, and reduced my cramping and nerve pains. The prices at Wellbe are very reasonable and they can provide an RMT receipt for insurance.

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Doula Support:

From the get go I knew I would want additional support at the hospital for myself and my husband, in the form of a doula. My husband was totally on board. A doula is not there for medical attention (that’s the job of the Midwife or OB) but for emotional support, education, and facilitating a smooth birth experience. The doula acts as your advocate, which felt especially important to me as a person with allergies. I hired my doula team early on in my first trimester. In Ontario, doulas must be board certified to practice, and have to be certified at your specific hospital (though many are certified at multiple hospitals within a region). Throughout the pregnancy they did regular check-ins, provided reliable information resources, and helped us develop a birth preference plan. Once at the hospital they assist the mother and partner with the birth, in addition to the support of the doctor and nurses. They also assist in postpartum care for baby and mom in the form of overnight visits. The cost of a doula can range widely depending on the individual providing the service, their level of experience, whether you opt for overnight care, etc.

Hypnobirthing Classes:

The thought of an epidural (or any narcotic pain relief) has always scared me more than the idea of the pain of childbirth. My body doesn’t like foreign substances. Just look at my rhinoplasty experience in 2020. I had a fully reconstructive rhinoplasty on my very broken nose and managed to get through months of recovery without pain medication or anti-inflammatory drugs. It wasn’t easy but it was my personal preference based on what I know of my body. The feeling of numbness really freaks me out! I searched for other pain management techniques and stumbled upon hypnobirthing. Despite the name, hypnobirthing is not hypnosis but a form of meditation that teaches you to breathe and meditate through labor in a way that effectively manages the pain. This virtual course was a few hundred dollars and was offered by my doulas who received hypnobirth training. It is available to anyone, whether or not you are working with their doula services. I have been practicing meditation since 2018 and it has had an incredible impact on my life and wellbeing, so I was excited to start training. We had four sessions of three hours each, starting out with a history of birthing in Canada, dispelling myths and fear surrounding childbirth, and finally empowering moms-to-be and their partners to feel confident in their ability to manage the pain of birth. I LOVED these classes and found them to be extremely comforting and empowering as a first time mom. Hypnobirthing is not just for those seeking a natural birth or a home birth - the strategies can also be used in combination with medical interventions which may unexpectedly arise out of safety concerns for mom or baby. And it doesn’t just apply to the day of the delivery; I practiced hypnobirthing throughout my pregnancy to feel calm, centered, and confidant. The positive affirmations became especially important in my last few weeks of pregnancy as I felt little fears crop up about my abilities as a mother. When I felt those feelings growing I’d lay in bed, pop in my headphones, listen to my affirmations and do my deep breathing exercises. It helped every time.

Hospital Prenatal Classes:

My hospital offered prenatal classes covering topics such as the details of labor, what to expect when you arrive, what to pack, different types of delivery, what to ask your OB, the role of the partner or support person, when to come to the hospital, lactation, and so much more. We even watched videos of different types of childbirth, and breastfeeding. Each virtual class was 3 - 3.5 hours long and took place on weekday evenings. The class was taught by a female anthropologist who specialized in the study in women and babies, and she was a fabulous teacher. She always put mom and baby (and partner) first in her lessons. She made us feel empowered, and always ensured that we had all the information we needed to make educated decisions on the day of the birth. She was very transparent about what we could advocate for at the hospital and how to make ourselves the most comfortable. These sessions were interactive, with our cameras on, and we were encouraged to ask questions and share comments.

Doula Prenatal Classes (all virtual):

By this point you may be realizing that I created “baby university” for myself. This is just how I am - I like to gather all the information possible so that I can make educated decisions. I would rather watch videos of childbirth and know exactly what I’m getting myself into, than go in with no idea what to expect (I did the same thing before my rhinoplasty too). My doulas offered courses about more specific topics such as breastfeeding, baby carrying, newborn care, CPR, postpartum care, and more, which were included in my package. Yes, I took a course on how to carry a baby. I really needed it! Carrying a newborn baby can be a little frightening when you don’t have a lot of experience, and I knew that it would make me feel more comfortable. My husband joined me for some of these classes while I took a few of them solo. We found the 3 hour newborn care class to be so enlightening that I enrolled in it a second time and invited my mom, mother-in-law, best friend, and one of my sister-in-laws to join me for a baby-focused evening. We had a lot of fun and it was a great way to bring everyone’s baby care information up to date as a lot has changed, even just in the last decade.

Empowering myself as a person with anaphylactic food allergies during pregnancy

Deflecting birth horror stories:

(Free) This may have taken some emotional labor but I found it to be worth it. Unfortunately, a lot of women have traumatic birth experiences. They way we get through these experiences as humans and communal beings is usually by talking about it even years or decades after the events took place. While I am happy to talk these things through with friends or family members, I also knew that I had to protect my emotional wellbeing during pregnancy. It’s okay to tell someone that you don’t have the bandwidth to discuss something at that time but that you would be open to supporting them when you are in a less vulnerable place yourself. Fear can be crippling, and I didn’t want to risk anxiety attacks or panic in regards to pregnancy or my baby’s birth. On the flip side, I chatted with lots of moms who had positive birth experiences and who wanted to share their light with me. I found this very uplifting. Pregnancy is such an emotional journey and I felt it important to protect my mental health. If I saw any birth stories or pregnancy loss stories with “TW” at the beginning on Instagram or any other social media, I immediately flagged them as not interested so that the app would stop showing me that content. It’s not that I don’t care for women who have had traumatic experiences, because I do. But when we are vulnerable ourselves it can be difficult to process these stories without taking on additional anxiety and stress. Knowing that I am prone to anxiety and OCD to begin with, I had to be a little ruthless.

Allergist consult call:

(Free) In my second trimester I booked a consult call with my allergist to discuss such ridiculous questions as, can I be allergic to my own breast milk? And questions about allergen introductions, breastfeeding, eczema, and to dispel suspected myths that I had been told about food allergies and pregnancy (ex. if you eat common allergens your baby will have food allergies vs. if you don’t eat common allergens your baby will have food allergies - people just love to blame mom!). We discussed how to handle eczema, and the importance of keeping baby’s skin moisturized. He guided me on how to handle allergen introductions and the circumstances under which it would be necessary for me to bring baby in for an appointment. The call was informative, and my allergist mostly wanted to dispel any fears I was carrying about being a mom with food allergies and eczema herself. He reminded me that we still don’t know the cause of eczema and allergies for sure, so I can’t put so much pressure on myself to try to prevent these diseases that even well-versed allergists do not know how to prevent. He also assured me that the allergy safety precautions I had been taking throughout my pregnancy were the best choice for the safety of myself and my baby.

Anaesthesiologist Consult Call:

(Free) My OB’s office arranged for a consult call with the anaesthesiologist at the hospital so that we could discuss potential medical interventions that may arise during labor, as well as my food and drug allergy concerns. This call was detailed and extensive as the consultant was sure to gather my exact allergens and reaction history, and recommend the best pathway for my labor if the need for medical intervention arose. This call was of utmost importance to me, and needed to be sorted out prior to labor, because in the event of an emergency at the hospital I may need to be prepared to make quick decisions and judgement calls, and knowing all of my information beforehand would allow me to make the most educated decisions. To prepare for the call, I noted down all my questions and concerns, and listed off any medications I had taken previously and how I reacted to them.

Things I did not invest in during my pregnancy:

An extensive maternity wardrobe
A delivery gown
A fancy birthing ball
Belly butters or stretch mark creams
Belly masks
Lamaze class
Prenatal yoga
Buying new when I have access to used
A maternity photo shoot

Not that there’s anything wrong with these things, and some people are very happy to invest in them during pregnancy, but these were not the items and services that I determined would bring me joy.

An extensive maternity wardrobe:

I have trouble buying clothes that I will only wear a few times and then banish to the back of my closet in general, and especially during pregnancy. There are a ton of beautiful frocks out there for expectant moms, but I didn’t feel the need to have a ton of outfits in my arsenal. I wore my regular clothes until about 5 and a half months in, at which point any waistband was promptly kicked at by my baby , and made me feel nauseous. My husband gifted me a pair of comfy over-the-belly pregnancy pants which became my daily staple. He also gifted me a sweater that doubles as a nursing top. As my belly grew, I ordered a few new tops from Aritzia that I could see myself wearing outside of pregnancy. Long sleeve waffle knit tees are pretty versatile and didn’t feel relegated to my maternity wardrobe. Some of my stretchy or more forgiving clothing lasted throughout the full nine months, like sweater dresses and jersey dresses. I bought a couple pairs of under-the-belly pants on sale, however they were not as comfy. I wore mostly the same clothes every day (when I was at home it was pyjamas all the way) and this was fine with me. The ‘daily uniform’ effect actually felt like a nice break from thinking too much about my appearance.

A delivery gown

There are some stunning delivery gowns available online and trust me I was tempted. These gowns are more comfortable than a typical hospital robe, and have cut-outs and flaps for all of the IV’s and gear that might need to be accessed during labor. I just couldn’t get over how single-use it was. I knew that I would return it to my closet when I got home and never wear it again, so I took a pass. But I do want to make a call out to the amazing design and craftsmanship that some of these gowns have. I can see why they are so popular!

A fancy birthing ball/yoga ball

There are beautiful birthing balls in lovely colours that compliment your home and style… and then there’s the one I bought. It’s an ugly blue, it was $25, and I really don’t care! I just wanted something burst-proof, slip-proof, appropriate for my height, and that was able to ship quickly because I needed it ASAP. A birth ball is amazing for stretching and relieving pain and discomfort. If you plan on using your ball for actual yoga and fitness outside of pregnancy, then it might be worth investing in a better one. I know myself, and I can tell you that this thing will never be used for fitness of any kind.

Belly butters or stretch mark creams

I’ve had stretch marks across my thighs and butt since I was 12, so the thought of sprouting new ones didn’t phase me. I know that there’s nothing you can do about stretch marks; they either happen or they don’t, and no cream truly prevents them. I know because I desperately tried to get rid of my stretch marks when I was a young teen, and when nothing worked I eventually grew to accept them. I massaged my belly throughout the nine months with my regular body lotion. Stretching skin can get itchy, and the lotion really helped, but I felt no need to invest in a new bottle specific to preventing stretch marks.

Belly masks for stretch marks

See above ^^

Lamaze class or prenatal yoga

Between physiotherapy and hypnobirthing, I felt I had my physical wellness and breath exercises covered!

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